Anecdotals of a Lost Opportunity

Salam alaykum wa rahmatullah.

14 Shawal of 1432 Hijri. Almost half-a-month since Ramadhan Kareem.

This Ramadhan was not the typical Ramadhan I had before, it was so aberrant of my experiences. This is the first time I celebrated the holiest of all months as a university student. Also my first as a medical student. Also the first one where I have a relatively smaller circle to guide me through. A lot of first time over here.

The proper way to cherish these first time moments is to bolster your morale and savour the best out of them. Make them memorable. But not for me.

I've been slacking. Last year I finished my recitals up until Surah Sad, but now I'm barely able to progress more than the tenth Juz.

For the first time I'm finding difficulty to find a Jama'ah to pray the Tarawih prayers together with. I used to skip the Jama'ahs before and prayed alone, but the lack of any Jama'ah this time around killed my weak motivation for it. A lot of days slacking the Tarawihs and effectively slacking more Quran recitals.

All which remains, among others, is the quest for buka puasa. Luckily I have no cravings for bazaar Ramadhan this time around, so a quick trip to the food court is sufficient. Most of the stalls were operated by non-Muslims, but there is this stall vendored by this nice Pakcik selling nasi campur - if he and his staffs get to know that you are a student, a special price for you is secured. Wonderful to note is that his female family members also wear the purdah which makes me think of the long gone Al-Arqam. Yeah, his food is marvellous, and even more so when the time comes for buka puasa.

Besides that, the episodes of dozing off during classes is another classical presentation during Ramadhan, and this year is still of no exception. Not something desirable when you study a demanding course, but the temptation is so hard to resist (hopefully you understand the temptation too). Also not something desirable when you have lots of non-Muslim classmates all around you, though they may understand our situation, it is still not a good excuse.

Sahur will always be a must all Ramadhan. But this was the first Ramadhan I wake up as early as 4.30am to take a journey to the nearby mamak. The nasi kandar is tempting but may cause some damages to your pocket, especially if you're a student. Nevertheless we had roti telurs and fried noodles and chat among ourselves. I don't really fancy on talking too much when my eyes were heavy, but some things in life you must be tolerant to and sooner or later you will get used to it and enjoy it.

Ramadhan is not Ramadhan without the quest for Lailatul Qadr. Lots of room for improvements on my side for this one. Alhamdulillah, I was given the opportunity to wake up every odd nights for Qiyam. Yet I can only manage two rakaats of Tahajjud - my Iman was not strong enough to resist the weight on my eyelids. No strength to recite the Holy Book. And those were before the holidays - when I spent my last few days of Ramadhan back in my hometown, I can hardly recall any Qiyam moments.

Hm, what other stuffs should I mention?

Ran out of ideas actually. Hah. But basically I have to improve on for the next year Ramadhan. From now on, this shall be my business - being a university student with all the challenges. Not to mention that as Shawal creeps into the second half of the month, I haven't planned for Puasa Enam. I shall do it, to patch up all the craps which contributes to the imperfection of my Ramadhan this year.

Nobody have a perfect Ramadhan I suppose. So I hope that if you do read this insignificant writings, somehow it will be a useful reflection so that together we can make perfect our third pillar of Islam for the forthcoming years (while we still have the chance).

Wassalam alaykum wa rahmatullah.