P for Parking!

P juga bermaksud pemurah, penyayang, pandai, pendeta, pendeklamasi sajak, perintis, penyangak, perasuah, penyamun, pembohong, pencuri, blablabla... dan juga politik. Hahaaha. Tapi hanya 4 kualiti terawal tu yg sesuai untuk mendeskripsikan aku. Kan kan kan? Ahahaha. Aku otak sains, so pendeklamasi sajak tu bukan aku la.

Alhamdulillah... akhirnye semalam dpt jgk lesen P. Xsia2 bapak aku belanje duet nk gi blajar driving kat skool driving tu. Dala mahal nak mampos. Kelas 8 jam nk amek lesen P tuh, termasuk pretest, termasuk fee test JPJ, total2 sume RM530. Ahaha. Terbakaq kocek bapak aku.

Er, skool driving korang ade semahal tu ke? Pasal aku dgr kat tmpt aku nih ni ade driving skool len yg lbey murah. Tataw la murah mne. Xla semahal RM530 wo. Dgn duet tu segala jenis hapekebende aku ble joli kat Mahkota Parade ngan Jaya Jusco. Tp aku bukan manusia boros sebegitu. Hua.

Aku belajaq driving ngan sorang cekgu Cina nih. Haha, dia mmg baek la, xde garang2 haha. Kalo mcm mak aku dulu, mak aku dpt cekgu ngan org kampong dia sndiri. Back in the 1980s. She owez tell me that the teacher is "garang nak mampos!". Hm, cmne la ghope cekgu tu ek. Ade misai lebat melentik2 mcm A Galak kah?

Belajar minimum 8 jam. Tp aku kan pandai. Ahhuhua perasan siot. So aku extend sampai 10 jam. Was2 masih merayap dlm diri, haaha. And then pretest. Instructor driving skool yg len plak test aku samada layak nk amek test JPJ ke tak. Pergh, instructor tu...Wa cakap same lu... Rasa cam nk speeding sampai 200km/j kasi lambung kt bukit. Dala muka serius. Silap sket asyek nk marah je kejenye. Aku xcukup angkat clutch dia marah. Aku tak masuk gear btol2 dia marah. Aku langgar lopak air pon dia marah. Marah3. hahaha. Tapi dia baek. Dia kasi aku pass, aha

Pas2 baru la test JPJ. On da fateful Monday 4 May 2009. Oh, did I mention that I failed the first test...??

Ahhahaha siot tol. First test aku cume lulus parking je. Tu pon naseb2 je, hakhak. Mase naek bukit tu btol2 nyaris. Mase nk parking atas bukit tu oke. Tp lps tekan minyak, naek sket clutch, aku nak turunkan brek, tiba2 kereta tak berganjak. Cpt2 aku tarik brek tangan balek. Pergh, selamat. Bayangkan kalo kereta yg x gerak tu tiba2 menggelongsor turun camne?? And everything went smoothly.

Then jalanraya. Pendekkan cite okeh? Aku makan pil! hahuhuah. Kat umah datok aku tanye, "Test kete camne? Pas ke Umno?". Ahhaha. Dengan bangganya aku jawab umno. Ironi btol hahah.

So burn la RM62. RM 50 nk apply balik test. RM12 tu nak beli test kad. RM12 untuk sekeping kad manila - berbaloi bukan?? Lebih mahal drpd pendrive 1 GB. Bek aku gune joli beli slurpee ngan cokelat kat 7 Eleven sebelah driving skool tuh.

Bapak aku kenal sorang driving instructor kat situ. So, sehari sebelum test kedua. 17 May 2009. Buat kelas 1 jam setengah. Intensif training kat jalan2 yg ditetapkan. Banyak gak la kene sound. Nk overtake lane tak pandai lagi. Penggunaan gear pon noob lagi. Amatur abesla aku! hahaha. Yela, kat umah aku sume kete automatik belaka. Nk wat cne, hahaha.

Esoknya test. Isnin 18 May. Alhamdulillah... Tester tu baek yg amat. Dia kasi 17/20. Cemerlang siot aku! Wahaha. Masa tu again kantoi gear. Ada satu jalan kat simpang tu agak curam. Bese aku blaja kalo sampai kat situ, turunkan gear 4 ke gear 3. Mase tu line clear, xde obstacle menghalang. But on the fateful testing day, kat jalan tu ade 2-3 kete kat depan. So aku terpaksa slow down tngah jalan yg curam tu. Pas2 bila aku nk tekan minyak...

Well, kalo dh slow down pas2 tekan minyak masa naek bukit pakai gear 3, wat du you expect? Tersengguk2 kete kancil aku tuh. Aku rase cam nk kentut je kete2 depan aku tuh. Derang la menyebabkan tester aku tu pangkah part penggunaan gear kat kertas ujian tester tuh. Tp sebbaek aku tetap pas! Haha syukran jazilan JPJ!

Lusa gi JPJ apply lesen P. It was really a breeze. KAt JPJ tuh berderet2 gile kaunter dia. Manusia yg datang pon of coz la berderet2. Again lebur RM60 duet bapak aku. Patot la JPJ kaya. Mak aku cite satu hari satu2 pejabat JPJ gain beribu2 ringgit hasil bayaran nk wat lesen2 n pelbagai urusan lg. So padan la JPJ ni sangat vurnerable kepada rasuah. Everyday they deal wit loads of ka-chings (duet la tu).

Okeh2. dalatu. Chow. Adios. Selamat jalan. Auf wiederschein (aku pakai tules je ntah btol ke tak). Wa nk merempit jap. Gune kete la, takkan gune moto kot. Xde kelas la moto2 nih.

Wassalam...

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USIM!~

Salam alaykum warahmatullah...
Sidang hadirin yang dihormati sekalian.

Yeyeh! Aku dapat USIM! Medic kat USIM! Walaupun sebenarnye aku mintak Medic UIA, tapi apakan daya. Dapat Medic kat USIM. Haha, ada beza ker? Dua2 medic gak kan? Dua2 ada title universiti Islam kan?? Haha. Yg kat UIA tu Asasi Perubatan. Yang kat USIM nih Tamhidi Perubatan. Pergh, canggeh syot nama! Tamhidi tu. Padahal xde beza pon asasi ngan tamhidi tu.

MASA SAYE KECHIL DAHULU...

Dari dulu lagi aku mengidam nak sambung blaja kat UIA. Maybe sejak aku darjah... 4 ke 5. Hha, bole lupe plak dah. Namun aku maseh muda.

Masa darjah 4 dulu, aku telah mengalami suatu tragedi sedih. Haha sedeh la sgt. Pada suatu hari ma grandma tiba2 tertanya2 pasal sekolah petang. sekolah agama sesi petang. Pagi sekolah kat SK. Petang Sekolah kat SRA JAIM. Ntah cemane grandma aku tersebut tiba2 terpikir pasal sekolah agama waktu petang nih. Dapat ilham dari mimpi kot.

Aku = pemalas. Bese la budak2 zaman skang kan. Alah korang! Ngate aku malas. Korang pon malas gak kan kecik2 dulu. Tau2 nak men gem je. Men kejar2. Men komputer la gameboy la. Digimon la hape la. Haha. So aku mmg tanak la sekolah agama petang nih. Aku rijek awal2. Cukup2 la skolah pagi yg homework banyak macam ya rabbi tersebut.

Nthen, suatu hari. Awal tahun 2001... Tiga orang budak nak gi skolah petang lalu kat sebelah umah aku. Ma grandma yg kemaruk nk postingkan aku ke sekolah petang ni pon tahan la derang. Interbiu. Mcm interbiewer MARA lagaknya. Dan dengan lagak seorang pemain digimon yang sangat pro, mereka menjawab, "Darjah 4 dah masuk dah makcik!"

Maka dengan spontannya ma granma masok umah, soh aku salin baju cantik2. Bwk beg sandang. Of course... bwk pelopak (pencil box da...) skali. And off we go to SRA JAIM Ujong Pasir yang jaraknya amatlah dekat ngan umah granmaku tercinta.

Kat sane without delay aku didaftarkan kt skul tu. Aritu gak start belajar. Walaupun buku teks ngan buku tules satu hape pun takde aku tetap kene mula belaja tyme tu. Dgn memakai baju hape ntah. Yg len sume smart pakai uniform skolah petang. Kecuali...uhm... aku la. Malu gila gaban syot wa cakap sama lu. Dicampur ngan perasaan yang sgt la bengang tiada apa mampu menggambarkannya. Balek umah aku merajuk. Tanak cakap. Pas2 I remember ade hentak/hempas something sbg tanda tunjuk perasaan besar2an. Peh brutal gak aku masa kecik2 dlu ek.

Namun begitu tragedi sdey leleh air mata tersebut menjadi penanda penting dalam sejarah hidop aku. Sejak saat itulah aku terjebak dalam dunia skolah agama... abes UPSR ngan SSRA (sijil sekolah rendah agama) teros ke SMK Agama Sultan Muhammad. Pas2 jadi imigran pg la SM Agama Persekutuan Kajang.

And now... aku dapat tawaran ke Universiti Sains Islam Mesia...

MARA

But of corze, aku KIV dulu la nak tgk MARA nyer result dulu.

Papepon, atas nasihat the honourable Wan Muhd Firdaus, before 15 Mei, kite still kene konpemkan nak terima UPU. As backup plan. But were not obliged to report ourselves 23 Mei nanti. So kalo dapat MARA kita bleh la abandon UPU.

Ah, itu sajela buat masa skang. Take care. Cheer selalu. Selagimana ada masa untuk cheer sebelom masuk alam IPT yang stressful sehingga kehidupan kita rasa cm taik belaka. Ooo... Scary... Selamat menempuh alam IPT.

Wassalam

The Lazy Boy in Me

Salam alaykum...

The last update was on April 7. Today is April 12. Five days has elapsed since. See, dun believe me? How many times have I said that I'm very lazy. Updating blog regularly is indeed a tough and rigorous challenge up ahead. It all boils down to discipline man! Discipline! How long do I have to train myself to obeying this unseen entity called Discipline?!! I've spent 2 years already taking naps in classes while the teacher struts and frets at the front (sweet memory...huhuhua!). I've spent 2 years coming late to the morning assemblies (but what can I say, senior ma. Senior kan taiko. Wahwahwah poyo!). Even I also strut and fret during my 3 months tenure as trainee of Program Latihan Kelolaan Najib (the short form is PLKN provided you dunno or become sort of a "mat/minah blur"). Yup, the prime minister of mesia himself trained me. And still discipline eludes me. (So can he "train" Malaysia into prosperity if he failed to train me? haha soalan cepumas tu)

Dan sekali lagi aku berjaya membuka muqaddimah dengan membebel panjang.

ANUGERAH KURIKULUM - 11 APRIL

Yesterday was another busy day for me (after that particularly busy Sunday, haha). My school the lovely and enchanting institution of learning called SMAPK organized the Curriculum Prizegiving Day. Very good indeed. Who doesn't want prizes? haha.

Some of SMAPK 0408 members lamented that the school organized the event sooooo early, in April. "Gelabah ape nak wat cepat2," was a feedback I received from one particular Hamba Allah. As for me, I didn't mind the date. After all, I'm a full time grapers ma. Buat awal2 lagi bagos, takde la aku tanam anggur je keje.

The mind-boggling, mind burning question for me now is: WHAT'S DA MATTER SENDING DA INVITATION LETTER SOOOOOO LATE??? Aiyyooo. Keje last minute la tu. SMAPK2. Owez with that attitude, regardless of the students or the administration... Hidop Cekgu Roy! If not becouse of Epu Nizam asking me whether I've gotten the letter or not on Monday, maybe I would never ever know about this anugerah untill today. I asked around and still some people still haven't the letter. At the very last moment, the teacher in charge called my home number and informed me to come orally.

Yup ladies and gentlemen, I had not received the letter. Only by phone invitation. Soooo formal. Not to mention that she asked me to come BEFORE 8.00 AM. Now it's my turn to say "Gelabah ape SMAPK nk start event awal2. Buat keje sume lambat, tiba2 kali ni nk start awal pulak". Anyway I arrived around 8.30 am. Thank god I was right. Nothin even started yet.

So there goes the majlis. I received the award for 11 1A student (A Kingston pendrive! 4GB ma!!) and a plaque for the best student in....guess what. English! haha terelnye aku cam mat saleh wahwah. Blog pon da dlm BI. Penyokong anti-PPSMI di luar sane tu dilarang marah2. Kalo tak saye jual karang. Syuh2.

So, kitorang pon jumpe2 la. Keep in touch. Din semangat. Datang akai baju kelas PLKN ma. Tie plak tie SMAPK. Semangat2. Pas2 gi DM. Mentekedarah (translate properly ok, it's not "vomiting blood". Nanti suke penyokong anti-PPSMI kang). Pas2 amek2 gaMba. Blah.

Ustat Bak usha nset baru aku. (ha, nset apetu??). Pas2 nk trade nset dia ngan nset aku. No way man! haha

Pas2 blah pegi KL jenjalan. Balik Melaka kol 10.30 pm. Abes cite.

Souvenir from the ceremony...juz for you...:

PM BARU! KABINET BARU!

Wah. Memang basi. Memang busuk. Tp aku xkesah. Aku tetap dengan excitednya ingin mengumumkan bahawa Najib da jadi PM! Wuwu. Jurulatih PLKN ku jadi Pak Perdana Menteri, bangga siot. Pas2 dia da umumkan kabinet baru. Banyak muka2 baru. Al-Fadhilah Al-Ustazah Al-Mashitah Ibrahim pon da jadi mak menteri dah! Timbalan menteri kat Jabatan Perdana Menteri tu. Bangga la gak jd timbalan menteri, walauun kt JPM je, yg secara otomatisnya bermaksud dia tiada mempunyai sebarang portfolio...kwangkwangkwang.

Yang paling penting, KJ xde!! Wuwu gumbiranya aku! KJ heroku tiada, hahaha. Kalo x abes la duet aku dikebasnya nanti. KJ ni bukan leh caye kalo namak duet. Nanti duit tu akan dia politikkan. Lalu terbentuklah politik wang. Kwangkwangkwang.


Ha, ameklah senarai nama kabinet baru ni kalo korang minat. Sape2 yg memang suke dan cintakan politik tanah air dipersilakan mendonlod PDF file nih. Tapi Hisyamuddin Ghazali xpyh kot. Walopun dia minat giler2, tp mesti dia dh dapat list tu walaupun Najib x umum lg kabinet baru. Tau2 jela dia tu, huahuahua. Kabel banyak ya amat. Berselirat2 atas lantai lg tu. Ko tersadung jatuh tersungkur ko nanti. Kwangkwangkwang.

Semoga korang enjoy video kat atas tu.

Sekian. Shutting down.

UPDATE - 15 APRIL

Aish, haha. Cne aku leh lupe. Dah tua kot haha. Aku ade gak amek2 gamba sket mase hari anugerah tersebut. Meh sini aku nak tayang...

Majlis berlangsung...

Kandid Kamal!

Farhan Foyo. Huahua.

Kamal, Hafidzi, aku, Faiz Hamzan (argh! Azman blok aku!)

Aku, Syaros, Keri, dan Isa yang tough (wahuahua)

An Utmostly Busy Sunday

Busy Sunday? How busy are your Sundays ladies and gentlemen? As busy as waking up right at the very moment those cute lil' clock needles strike the noon hour? Haha, I see... very clealy indeed, huhu.

Then wat? Eat? And eat again? And eat again? I see... then wat? Watch some tv? Aha, you're such a delicious piece of couch potato then. Baked to perfection. Only in Tony Roma (huhu, ape kaitan...???)

Or you could be in a trance in front of the PC/laptop/PDA/nset/blablabla for the whole day long? (I know la. Even I do that also wat, wahwah). Then go and hack something. Then stuck, dunno how to hack. Then go to Keruk Sumari's weblog to see any further solution on doing so. Then you don't find anything useful there. Then, you kutuk him bcoz nothing in his weblog suits your purposes.

Maybe some minority of you would be doing those nerdy stuff I suppose - reading, reading, reading,reading.....reading54x. Wa nerd la korang. Da abes SpM pon blaja73x lg. Tabik spring la. (Those who reads Wikipedia a lot are not categorized in this taxonomy).

Haha. So busy are your Sundays... ceh, kate orang! Sebenanye Sundays aku pon camtu gak. Grapers terhormat pasca SpM (pasca PLKN pon termasok la skali kot). Bkn Sundays je, tapi tiap2 ari pong camtu la jugak. Well, what can I say...

Dala panjang merapu. Cut short to da point.

Sunday yang lalu bukanlah Sunday yang bese. It was extraordinary. Bcoz on that particular Sunday I was visited by two students (dua org wo, bkn sorang). Both are from my former alma mater - the so called "Bumi As-Sultan".

I can hardly - I HARDLY - recalled received guests on my own. Usually if there is/are anyone coming, they would be looking for my parents, or my grandparents. So aku dok jela dlm bilik wat hal sendiri ke, papeke, heh. Then on dat day, whoop, two guests on my own. Back 2 back.

The first one came around 11 am. Why? Huhu, cannot tell ma. Top secret. Private and Confidential. Bocor masuk ISA wo...hahaha. Tp pendek cite hal berkaitan skolah la. Usaha nak memartabatkan lg prestasi As-Sultan, haha. The visit was short, coz by 12.15 he was already on compulsory term to return to home, pack his things and off, off away back to da hostel. (Syukur alhamdulillah aku bukan budak skola asrama lg...)

Then shortly afterwards the 2nd one came (takdela short afterwards pong, yg fes tu bru nk langkah kaki yg second da dtg). Ha, yg ni , why he came, not so top secret after all, haha. He came to...

...take almost all of my full loads of all the exam papers and essential notes I received during my tenure at SMAPK!

Pergh. Sikit punye rajin mamat nih. Haha, he is actually a good student. Very good one. Always got the top spot in exams at As-Sultan. Wa pun camtu gak dulu, hehe. Bkn nak riak. Tp masuk SMAPK je hancussss.... no 123 out of 150+ students during March 2007 test. Ma best rizalt ever, wuwu~~. No 1 ade, no 2 ade, no 3 pong ade...

I have known him for quite some time la, since primary school actually. One year my junior. He's a very bright student. Scored 9As in the PMR, and got the offer to SMAP Labu. But somehow he didn't accept the offer, although he actually wanted to go there so much. Kalo masuk ntah2 dia jd cam Raihana, huhu. Bkn Rihanna eh. Rihanna tade kene mengena ngan sesape yg idop maupon yg da mampos.

You don't believe ah? As we punggah and geledah the stor at my backyard for all those BM BI MAT +MAT PSI PQS BLABLABLA subject papers, he told me how he study - juz read, then do the thing. No such rubbish thing as homework (wa. bgosla. aku ngan dia mmg same same point of view. muhaha)

But what suprises me that this also applies in +MAT. Wo, gile bai. Dia tengok example, study, ingat, pas2 teros buat. Haha, boleh kate no trial and error. Wa tabik gak la dia camni. Dia leh berjaya ngan method tersebut. Aku pon wat method camtu gak wo. Mase exam March 2007... Result +MAT aku tyme tu...fuh...wa caya sama lu. Gempak beb. Total 30 markah sume. Bape wa dapat? Haha, go figure!

Lame gak ah punggah exam papers tu. Dua tahun bai. Heran gak dia nak bace, study ke paper2 banyak2 cmtu. Dia kate dia akan bace. Huhu, tataula~~. At least some of those might help him. Dia pon jenis yg risau sabjek keramat yg berjudul BAT gak, haha. Moga2 nota2, ilmu2 ustat bak berguna for him.

So, who am I? Some sort of a duta eh? Bring all those good things from SMAPK back to my former school. And left all those bad things right at the front gate of SMAPK... Xcaye gi tanye jaga kt pondok depan SMAPK tu. Wahwah.

So that's all I think... Boring kan posting aku kali ni. Padan muka, sape soh bace. Mangkok. Dala posting topik pasal Ahad lepas. Hari ni dah masuk Rabu dah. Huhu, basi, basi. Dala awal2 merapu je banyak. Xpela, insyaallah aku janjikan ostings yg lbey baek pd mase akan datang. Nanti aku siap tarok2 gamba lg ke, link video youtube ke, haha. Doa2kan la kemajuan blog ni. Xkan nak biar blog ni mundur je kot. Politik negara pon da maju. Bukit Gantang ngan Bukit Selambau pun PR da menang (takbir!). KJ pun spekulasi tadapat jadi menteri. Huhu, padan muka. KJ heroku. hero setiakawanku. Hero setia kat wang rakyat cam aku....

Udah2 la tu. Even the ending is nonsensical.